Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Dear Crazy Girl,
Yep I’m talking to you. The 27 year old you that knows better and said you would never become that crazy girl. Yet, you did! You became crazy girl and the truth is you are really good at it, crazy good at it. Girl after girl with stars in their eyes have come to you and you have brought them back to earth with the truth you know. You have repeatedly said, “don’t become crazy girl!” Well, Bets you passed crazy and went straight to psychotic. Not sure at what point you passed the place of no return; maybe when you checked your phone 97 times in an hour. Langlee, your precious friend since birth coined the phrase “crazy girl” and at the time you laughed, hard with tears in your eyes at that hysterical nickname. It’s funny until you’ve been there. I think Charlotte Lucas said it best from one of your all time favorite films Pride and Prejudice, “I'm twenty-seven years old, I've no money and no prospects. I'm already a burden to my parents and I'm frightened. So don't you judge me, Lizzy. Don't you dare judge me?” Don’t worry Bets, you won’t find any judgment here. It all started a couple weeks before Thanksgiving. Blair decided to set you up. Pretty sure you remember how well that went last time. So the thought of buckling in for another train ride to awkward city didn’t really appeal to you. However, another night in your oversized sweatshirt with a cup of hot tea scrolling through pinterest really didn’t thrill you either. Your stance to never be set up broke when your sister said his name. You remembered him from several Thanksgiving’s before. He was cute, sweet, and totally your type. Be casual, Bets. Don’t put any pressure on it. It’s just two friends chatting. No big deal. LIES. LIES. LIES. Oh, the lies we girls tell ourselves. Men, don’t believe it! We don’t do casual well. We do crazy well.
Within two weeks you had your wedding planned, the children’s names picked out, and the puppy you would adopt. CRAZY GIRL!!! In the back of your mind the sane part of you was saying, “hey, crazy girl can I get my brain and heart back?” It all started with a friend request. Social media you have ruined this romantic heart or maybe I should blame that on Jane Austen’s unrealistic characters. Whatever happened to a handwritten letter or a phone call? Mr. Darcy, are you out there? If you are I hope you look like a mix between Mark Wahlberg and Tim Tebow with the romantic heart of Channing Tatum in the Vow. I mean we have not because we ask not. Lord, this is me asking.
Anyway, I digress. This is about you, crazy girl! It was late at night and all day your stomach was in knots “will he message me?” You are not into the ways of this current generation. You’re old fashioned and was raised by a mother that wouldn’t even allow you to call a boy to ask a homework question at age 9. So you waited and waited. Ding! It beeped and your stomach went flying. He messaged you. Then crazy girl made her debut. She came out of nowhere, probably hell let’s be honest, and made her home in your heart and brain. The thoughts started that night. “Do I message him back?” What do I say?” Deep breath, be casual, oh you can so be casual. You heard the sounds of your fingers pecking the keyboard and you thought, “oh this is so casual and calm”. I’m really good at this whole friends thing. Then why did you reread it 17 times? Read it to your roommate and copy and paste it to your sisters and best friend? Smooth and casual for sure. Over the next ten days you messaged back and forth. You told yourself that it was just two friends chatting about life and it meant nothing. CRAZY GIRL!
I remember the night you sat down to write in your journal exhausted from craziness, confused at the games y’all played, and your confidence swimming in the toilet. You wrote in ink and in all caps “Lord, if this is not from you, END IT!” Well, Betsy you should know that God hears and He answers! Even when it's not the answer you want. That night you shared truth via impersonal facebook. You shared a passage of scripture near and dear to your heart at the time. Not casual, vulnerable under the disguise of casual. He responded with a sweet message and “I will talk to you tomorrow.” AHH!!! You were crushed because tomorrow didn’t come for another eight days...